Or not. For me, anyway!

For those that do, happy Ostara (or whatever celebration you hold around the Spring equinox)!

Now for a bit of rantishness, I guess, although it's more just fact....

A bit of a side-effect of not doing anything means I've never celebrated...anything.  Part of this is that I'm just not interested in Wicca (or celebrating the Sabbats), but I also don't have anything to celebrate since I have no direction.  Okay, that didn't make sense, but even just celebrating the spring equinox holds no meaning.  For one, don't really believe it's about celebrating the equinox itself...and since I don't have anything remotely specific to relate with it (without having to randomly 'pick' something/a specific path (sorry, would never be able to pick something/make something up, as either I think of *nothing* or I think of *too much*)), well...

All it really does is remind me that I'm STILL lacking anything/have absolutely no purpose in this area.  Which reminds me that I, in general, am useless.  AKA, might as well not exist. lol

But, yeah, just emphasises that I'm not getting anywhere, and it's been like that for a few years now, but worse since trying to really fix that, as it's just making it clearer that it's not working. :( 

Course, for right now, it doesn't help that I really don't like spring much!  Why? It means starting to get to the part of the year where I'm passing out from too much heat if I'm not careful.  And long-sleeves (jacket in moleskin, regular fabric doesn't do it)/jeans works well in the colder months (20-40*F and lower), but not at all well when it's 95-110*F and sunny.  Even 75...which it was just a couple days ago, is pushing it.  Last summer was horrid (been getting hotter, it seems), and from what I can tell it looks like this summer will be, too...

I've been sorta doing daily 1-card draws of my new tarot deck, and thought I'd post the cards here:

Friday, 16 March: Queen of Wands (Final read-through of fic, and updating the actual pages on my site to make it easier to post fic--also thought up a title.)

Saturday, 17 March: King of Cups (Managed to post it, without hesitating, which is a bit unusual, which I think fits with this one.)

Sunday, 18 March: Six of Cups (Hmm. Not sure how this one applied/fit, actually!)

Monday, 19 March: XII The Hanging Dragon (Dratted 8x dvd+r discs didn't want to be burned, so I got a little pile of uselessness...basically not getting much done today.)

So far, I'll definitely say the court cards at least make a bit of sense with this deck. (For the curious, my other/first deck is 'The Witches Tarot', and a big reason I got a second deck is because of the frustration of the court cards, once I got past the 'maybe it's my fault?' reasoning of why I felt they had little meaning.)

First off: I did take a better look at my new tarot deck, but so far mainly seeing what all the cards look like. :P

Other on-topic/related: Still just sitting, cuz there's no where to go... Er, that probably doesn't make much since, but I can't even think up questions to ask to fix anything. And I've tried. But the only question is 'what to do?' really...cuz it comes back to being unable to pick anything with even a remote sense of certainty.  And that just means I don't do anything, longer. Bored.

Actually, some of that goes back to the first paragraph, as I'm not sure how best to approach a new tarot deck, even.... :(

And...out of stuff to write (fanfic, although it's pretty sparse here, too lol). :( Completely. Finished two fanfics in the last couple weeks, the second of which I kinda got a title for and will be going 'up' probably today or tomorrow. I want rid of it. But, yeah, out of stuff to write, which is odd. So, for now I've gotten talked into writing a (rather complicated) scene for a book a friend is working on. Or, well, one to start with, as I there's another section I believe I'm going to get talked into writing.

And, grr, mum needs to get high-speed internet, so I can WORK. We still aren't quite in the service area for clearwire (they skipped over this section, for some reason, and are even doing smaller areas...I guess because we're in a far more established section?). It's just annoying, because A) we can't get DSL, and B) cable is an option but it's pricey (and we have satellite tv, so it has to be installed, too). We'll end up getting cable (and have both a modem (since NOVEMBER) and a wireless router (since EARLY JANUARY) but WHEN? Sorry, I'm just getting tired of waiting. For everything. I need it to get a job. Can't remember if I said this here yet or not, but I'm getting rather annoyed, and next time mum comments that I don't have a job, all I'll need left is cable internet--which she knows I need and hasn't been working toward getting. I can't get it on my own, as I don't own the house and she wants to be home when it's hooked up, which means the only 'option' is on Tuesdays.... *Off to wait some more, I guess.*

Yep, did taxes. I actually worked for the first half of last year (since been without a job again...currently just waiting on my mom getting high speed internet so I can try applying for something from home) and definitely had to actually do 'em, so as of this past...Sunday? they're done with. :D

Also since I'm just waiting on high speed internet, I'm running out of stuff to do, despite not having much extra time. When NOT looking for somewhere to apply, I, let's see, since Monday, finished a fanfic, reread through an already finished one (150 pages in Word), and am now reading through the recently finished one and might end up poking at the other one, again, as I know there was something I wanted to change...but I didn't remember then (nor now, for that matter). But, point is, it means I've got nothing to write on... I'd start another, but A) lacking ideas and B) titles! Annoying, that.

I loathe titles, as might have already been noticed...I really hate titling things. Takes so very long....

Oh, and a tarot deck I ordered arrived yesterday: Dragon Tarot. I haven't done anything with it yet, but glancing through 'em I'm thinking that I'll like this deck and it won't be hard to read with. Could be wrong, though! But that's just my initial impression.

Other than that, though, nothing is different. With looking for a job, I haven't had much time to do much. The only reason fanfic got written as writing is one of the few things I can do with headache, and my head has been hurting the last week and a half to two weeks. And then combine the headache with constant panic (so sorry for not responding to a couple comments, as I don't think I did for a couple) from trying to post something and then reply, which I've yet to be able to do.... Yep, doing absolutely great. :(

At least taxes are done. :P

Incandescent light bulbs, that is! This is something I'm not really that happy about; although it'd give me an excuse to buy more candles. :P

Warning, a bit rantish, possibly...

If you haven't heard about it, basically several places (Australia, California (which a lot of the US will possibly follow) are working to ban incandescents and the EU is now I think thinking of phasing them out (as CFLs are a way to reduce energy usage). If you want a whole article, this one's not too bad (sorry, most current one I could find that was decently long and actually explained it (I think!)).

Not that saving energy isn't a good thing--it's just they're leaving something out: What about people who are sensitive to UV light? I did read one article that had a note about exceptions, but if they're 'banned' how would they be gotten by those that 'need' them?

I just hope that if they get banned, I either think to stock up on incandescents or find /have some other no-UV light (or just stock up on candles lol). Why? Yep, I'm one of the lucky people that can't sit under fluorescent lights for an extended time (skin is sensitive to UVA light and has been for quite a while, forget that my eyes are sensitive to *all* light); technically it's 'sunlight' that's the problem, but let's just say blacklights and grow lights are just as bad, with fluorescents gaining....

So, I guess you could say I hate seeing articles about it, but it's something I don't really want to ignore/should keep an eye on where it goes. Bad enough I can't go outside during the day, get a 'normal' job under fluorescent lighting (due to eye's sensitivity (diff. problem), my skin reacting to florescent lights is relatively 'new'/last year or so), but now I might not even be able to turn on lights *at home* when I need the things? As is, I only turn lights on at night or when I absolutely must, and if I write or read at night (and it's on paper, not the computer) I usually just use a candle--but sometimes I need a bit more light or don't need light for an extended amount of time

But, yeah, not too thrilled with the prospect of CFLs becoming the 'norm'.

ETA: Oh, and CFLs contain mercury. It's kinda being brushed off (ie, it's not a lot, no real impact) but if everyone uses 'em...well, that adds up.